Toshio was...oddly silent. He couldn’t image that bode well for him. Of course Toshio was likely exhausted, both of them were. And Toshio had to be more sleep deprived than Seishin. Not only was Seishin more accustomed to longer nights (where his novel kept him up); but, Seishin had made no plans as to what to do about the shiki predicament. He’d taken no action. He couldn’t imagine the same was to be said of his friend who was bound and determined to rescue Sotoba at all costs. (But could it be saved? Was it already too late? And even if they could protect the remaining villagers, what should become of the shiki who were not entirely to blame for their actions. They shared the same basic aspirations as humans. They wished to be loved, cared for, and well fed.)
Still, Seishin couldn’t help but feel that Toshio’s reticence had less to do with fatigue and more to do with a childish passive aggressive demeanor. He was likely still bitter about the fact that his friend had failed to adequately support him, that he’d regarded his actions (however necessary) as something monstrous and distasteful. Seishin was only human. He believed that most people confronted with that butchery would balk at the prospect of hunting the shiki. Or...would they? Was Seishin perhaps an anomaly? Self preservation was meant to be a driving force. If coexistence was impossible then wouldn’t most people prioritize their safety and the safety of their families above all else?
At Toshio’s robotic “I’ll come”, utterly devoid of all feeling, Seishin didn’t know how to respond. Before he could voice his thanks Toshio had already hung up the phone. His best friend was coming, that was the crucial aspect. His manners or lack-there-of should not perturb Seishin and yet they did. He understood that Toshio was angry with him. Yes, he’d correctly deemed Seishin to be a hypocrite. Being completely alienated, Toshio had every right to feel discontented and even irate. However, it hadn’t been easy for Seishin to reach out to him so soon after their principles had clashed so severely. He certainly would have appreciated a more animated response or at least a longer one! Honestly, how did he even know that Toshio had been paying attention to him?! He didn’t and the idea that after struggling so much to bolster his courage, steel his nerves that Toshio had tuned him out was absolutely infuriating!
He tried to remind himself that hurt feelings were inconsequential. This wasn’t about him. This was about Tanaka Kaori who in his mind now represented the whole of Sotoba village. She was the very picture of an innocent distraught child, someone who would most assuredly be killed by the shiki if Toshio or himself failed to protect her. If they left her to her own devices, they would be responsible for her death and possibly her transformation if she was like Kyouko-san.
Well...Seishin’s concern should have begun and ended with Tanka Kaori; but, lamentably Seishin wasn’t so much of a hypocrite he was rendered incapable of reading his own desires. He missed his friend and not least of all because he was the only one Seishin could confide in about the shiki besides Sunako. (They rarely conversed about such topics. In fact he’d only broached the subject once, asking her if she was Abel.)
Toshio was always the one with a strong sense of direction. He knew what needed to be done and always found the will to achieve his goals. Seishin supposed at least a part of him was missing that firm resolve. He would like to be so confident and self assured. Well...perhaps he wouldn’t not if that meant drenching himself in the blood of the starving. Likely he was being unfair again. Surely even Toshio had to doubt the rightness of his cause. He couldn’t be unmoved by what he’d done to his wife. It wasn’t possible. He just couldn’t permit himself to reflect on his deeds, to scrutinize the lengths he would undertake in the name of justice. Toshio was skilled at the art of rationalization, avoiding introspection.
His phone call concluded (in a rather frustrating manner), Seishin returned to Kaori-chan to inform her that his friend was coming to visit, that he would help. He asked her if she would be alright waiting there for them since they had some private matters to discuss. After receiving her consent he immediately moved to his office since he spent more time there than his own room (considerably more time); and, he believed that was the first place Toshio would search for him. (It would also grant a modicum of privacy which wasn’t easy to come by even with fewer people assisting the temple these days.)
Confrontation is Inevitable
Still, Seishin couldn’t help but feel that Toshio’s reticence had less to do with fatigue and more to do with a childish passive aggressive demeanor. He was likely still bitter about the fact that his friend had failed to adequately support him, that he’d regarded his actions (however necessary) as something monstrous and distasteful. Seishin was only human. He believed that most people confronted with that butchery would balk at the prospect of hunting the shiki. Or...would they? Was Seishin perhaps an anomaly? Self preservation was meant to be a driving force. If coexistence was impossible then wouldn’t most people prioritize their safety and the safety of their families above all else?
At Toshio’s robotic “I’ll come”, utterly devoid of all feeling, Seishin didn’t know how to respond. Before he could voice his thanks Toshio had already hung up the phone. His best friend was coming, that was the crucial aspect. His manners or lack-there-of should not perturb Seishin and yet they did. He understood that Toshio was angry with him. Yes, he’d correctly deemed Seishin to be a hypocrite. Being completely alienated, Toshio had every right to feel discontented and even irate. However, it hadn’t been easy for Seishin to reach out to him so soon after their principles had clashed so severely. He certainly would have appreciated a more animated response or at least a longer one! Honestly, how did he even know that Toshio had been paying attention to him?! He didn’t and the idea that after struggling so much to bolster his courage, steel his nerves that Toshio had tuned him out was absolutely infuriating!
He tried to remind himself that hurt feelings were inconsequential. This wasn’t about him. This was about Tanaka Kaori who in his mind now represented the whole of Sotoba village. She was the very picture of an innocent distraught child, someone who would most assuredly be killed by the shiki if Toshio or himself failed to protect her. If they left her to her own devices, they would be responsible for her death and possibly her transformation if she was like Kyouko-san.
Well...Seishin’s concern should have begun and ended with Tanka Kaori; but, lamentably Seishin wasn’t so much of a hypocrite he was rendered incapable of reading his own desires. He missed his friend and not least of all because he was the only one Seishin could confide in about the shiki besides Sunako. (They rarely conversed about such topics. In fact he’d only broached the subject once, asking her if she was Abel.)
Toshio was always the one with a strong sense of direction. He knew what needed to be done and always found the will to achieve his goals. Seishin supposed at least a part of him was missing that firm resolve. He would like to be so confident and self assured. Well...perhaps he wouldn’t not if that meant drenching himself in the blood of the starving. Likely he was being unfair again. Surely even Toshio had to doubt the rightness of his cause. He couldn’t be unmoved by what he’d done to his wife. It wasn’t possible. He just couldn’t permit himself to reflect on his deeds, to scrutinize the lengths he would undertake in the name of justice. Toshio was skilled at the art of rationalization, avoiding introspection.
His phone call concluded (in a rather frustrating manner), Seishin returned to Kaori-chan to inform her that his friend was coming to visit, that he would help. He asked her if she would be alright waiting there for them since they had some private matters to discuss. After receiving her consent he immediately moved to his office since he spent more time there than his own room (considerably more time); and, he believed that was the first place Toshio would search for him. (It would also grant a modicum of privacy which wasn’t easy to come by even with fewer people assisting the temple these days.)